Back to Life

Greetings my ambition freaks! I have been out of the world of writing for 2 years now and I felt the calling to get my creative juices going again. Like many of us, COVID had a major impact on my life and career and consequently put a damper on my energy and momentum to my passion projects. However, as we have all learned over the last two years, we must all get back to life and whatever the new normal is for each of us. Since my last post, I have had two job changes, all for the better. I have ended a long term relationship which recently rekindled and ended again, for good this time. I had two small businesses which were very successful. I went on a healing and self-discovery journey which has brought my more insight into life and our purpose here on earth than I could have ever imagined. I still currently work in human resources as helping others is something I enjoy but have also discovered a talent for coach people through their self limiting beliefs to help them accomplish their goals. I completed two certifications in CBT coaching and Spiritual Intuitive Coaching and am working towards the launch of a coaching program for one on one clients. I have met some amazing people along the way and some not so amazing people as well. But through all of this change I have been able to extract a few gold nuggets of knowledge which I am passing on to my coaching clients, friends, my kids, and pretty much anyone who can use the advise to keep moving forward and get back to life.

  1. Nothing in life is permanent– This is one that I am sure will causes some eyes to roll but the truth is that nothing is permanent in this life. Relationships, jobs, struggles, happiness, none of it. This is not meant to sound cynical but rather to understand that everything has a cycle in life. You may of heard that people have a season or a reason to be in your life. That statement is true. Over the last two years I have ended friendships which I thought would last forever. One in particular who I thought was a soul mate with me but unfortunately, during a time of need that person took the path less traveled. Instead of being upset about, I am grateful for the experiences I had with them. The same is true for the challenges I faced. While going through them, I would think that I could not survive them or felt helpless like there was no solution to the matter. However, in retrospect, I realize that some of the biggest blessings in my life have been packaged as moments of grief and despair.
  2. We live life in a cycle or repeated lessons– I am sure that many of you have had the thought “why does this keep happening to me?” Well the truth is that we keep creating these things to happen to us. Life does not happen to us, Life happens for us and the tough situations we are faced with are there to help us learn what we need to learn in order to evolve and move forward. That bad string of relationships or events at each job you have, the friends that constantly keep betraying your trust, the fact that you are constantly behind on your life events, those are all lessons. I have had to take a long hard look at myself over the last two years and really do some soul searching along with some inner healing to understand that the issues which keep playing out on repeat in my life are a product of my own actions and behaviors which I attract. By taking personal accountability for my actions and understanding that some of the stories which I believe are only in my head, I have been able to adjust my behavior and work towards establishing healthy boundaries.
  3. Energy is EVERYTHING-I can go on for days discussing the amazing world of the metaphysical but I won’t. I’ll save that for another day. However, it is important to understand that energy is everything. We are all made up of energy and energy can be felt all around you. Energy can be felt coming off of people as well and being in tune with that energy is very important. You ever get a feeling that something is not right about a person? Well that’s energy. We are all equipped to feel it and use it to our advantage when navigating this world. However, we often do not pay attention to that feeling. If the energy is off with someone or with a situation, stay true to yourself and respect that feeling. There is a reason for it and it and it is there to protect you from harm, pain, trouble or regret.
  4. Thoughts are not Facts-How many times have we heard or been told that something is all in our head. Well in most cases that is true. We create scenarios in our heads which lead us down a rabbit hole filled with self-loathing and guilt. We punish ourselves internally for things which we believe we have created due to our own lack of self-worth. A friend goes silent for a moment, it must be our fault. Your boss is in a bad mood or didn’t say good morning, you must have done something wrong. That guy or girl you went on a date with has not called you back, it must be that you are not pretty enough or successful enough. The list goes on and on. Truth is, that friend that is not talking to you right now, may be going through their own tough moment and need time alone. Your boss not talking to you or saying good morning, he may have gotten tough news from his own boss or is focused on his own tasks. That date that never called back could be that they felt like they were not good enough themselves or just did not feel enough in common. It has nothing to do with your value or the possibility that you did something wrong. Maybe you could have done something better or differently but in the end, that should not be your first thought.
  5. You have the power to change the story– We all have painful memories which haunt us in our everyday lives. Some of these painful memories come from very traumatic situations and are harder to heal from and overcome. In these cases I always advise to seek help and know that it is ok to do so. However, there are some painful memories which come from being exposed to an abusive parent or spouse/partner, encountering situations that left us feeling embarrassed or humiliated, feeling unsafe and unprotected, or feeling invalidated and unseen. These memories can make it difficult to move forward and can create self limiting beliefs of what we deserve and what we can accomplish. However, we can change the belief which has been created. A belief is a well habituated thought. This means that a belief is essentially a thought that we keep repeating in our minds over and over again until it becomes true to ourselves. The key here is to change the thought and create a new habit of it. Sounds easy but it takes some work and practice. One exercise which has helped me and I am currently going back to at the moment is to write down the top 5 or 10 self limiting beliefs. For each one of those beliefs, write a counter thought or a thought opposite of your first thought and work on repeating that to yourself over and over again. By creating a habit of the new thought, you will be rewriting the story and establish a new belief system about yourself.

These are not the solution to all of our problems. Every day we struggle as human beings as we are all very fragile creatures. But as we go through life’s messy path, we must embrace the challenges, the highs and lows, and the wins and losses and think what these experiences are here to teach us. What are we facing at the moment which is an indication of what we need to work on. It is important to understand how can we turn a difficult event into something that elevates us to learn and grow. It takes courage, humility, and determination but it can be done.

Happy Healing!

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