I have been absent from several things lately and so I begin this post by wishing everyone a Happy New Year and hoping that you all enjoyed the holidays with your loved ones. My absence did not stem from a sense of abandonment of this project or my ambition to help others but as a time to self reflect and realize that I needed time to do some inner work. That is my focus for you with this post. Having the courage and being comfortable with putting some things aside in an effort to correct other things in your life and make yourself a priority is ok.
As the year was coming to an end, I began reflecting on what I had accomplished throughout the year and what failures and lessons had I been able to learn from. I felt grateful for what I tried and what I had learned but still felt emptiness with a continued desire for accomplishing big things. Then I realized that I was unable to focus my energy on just one thing. I wanted to do so much and was struggling to organize my thoughts? Do you ever feel that way? Like there are a million different ideas floating through your head or imaginary to-do lists which never get done. These lists continue to pile up and continue to feed negative energy to you as the lack of accomplishment creates a sense of anxiety and failure. But it’s not that at all my friends. The lack of accomplishment often stems from a lack of focus. It can stem from the negative energy that surrounds you or you carry inside of you which does not allow you to move forward. This negative energy can be financial strain which you are currently managing through, it can be the strain of a relationship or and argument at work, or it can be stress over what has not happened yet.
In my case, I felt the strain of negative and unproductive relationships in my life. I realized that I was putting undue pressure on myself to maintain certain relationships alive in my life because they had been there for so long and were part of my identity but in reality they were taking energy from me and not replenishing in return.
Some of you may be able to relate to this but you wonder how do you go about clearing some of these relationships? It’s easy, you just do it. I decided towards the end of the year that I was not going to focus on maintaining relationships which were one sided. I decided to take time to focus on healing my energy. I have begun meditation and focusing on positive affirmations. I have begun manifesting some solutions in my life and truly feel that in the last two months have removed some blocking energy which has allowed me to align my focus on what I want to do in the future. Have I received some criticism for this? Absolutely! But this only came from those individuals whom were inconvenienced by the fact that someone was no longer going to be available to contribute to their needs and ego. It was a selfish act but selfless at the same time as it was the right thing to do for me and my loved ones. I needed to focus on the best version of me possible. Learning to let go is a gift! Taking time to heal is your right! Finding inner peace is critical for your well being!
I challenge you to seek out what that looks like. In my world I began focusing on my health as part of this renewed energy and started a workout routine. Am I perfect and maintain it without deviation? Nope. But that’s ok too. I do not beat myself up for missing a workout or endulging in a treat. I focus on the longterm habit and make that the focus. I mentioned meditation earlier. Well in my house that meant that on a few occasions both of my kids caught their mom sitting on the floor of the garage on a yoga mat with her eyes closed. The faint statement of “okkaayyy” coming out of both of my kids as they stood at the door staring at me puzzled by what was happening. My son could not understand why his mom was just sitting in silence in the garage on the floor instead of making him chocolate milk which aparently created a crack in his universe at that time. Did I feel like a bad mother for not using every last free minute of my time for my kids. Nope. Although meditation felt unnatural at first, I very quickly learned to crave that silence and recharge I felt afterwards. I have learned to focus on healing my inner self in order to be the best version of me to those who matter. So, chocolate milk can wait, finding my teen’s tshirt can wait, putting the clothes in the dryer can wait, as long as the focus is to heal.
So I leave you with this thought. As you stroll through the rest of this month, give some thought to the people, activities, things that do not bring you joy. Which ones take energy from you rather than help replenish it? Which ones cause you angst when preparing to see them, participate in them, or be in the same space as them? Whatever that is, let it go. Take that time to refocus on what does bring you joy. Find that inner peace. Learn to react to this differently to situations so you carry peace with you. Take 5 minutes each day to sit in silence and ask you inner self to let go of what ails you. Let go of past failures. Let go of past relationships. Let go of what does nor bring you joy. Start every day with gratitude. As I have mentioned in a previous post, the universe will never give you more if you are not truly grateful for what you already have. 2020 is the year for you to focus and redirect your energy to creating the best version of yourself!