Who Should You UnFollow in Real Life

Today I saw a post on my social media account which made me think about the reality that we live in every day and fail to act on. The reality is that we are surrounded by and allow negative individuals into our lives and refuse to cut ties with them. You guys may have heard the saying that negativity breeds negativity and that statement is so very true. Have you ever had a friend or a colleague who was in a relationship or surrounded by someone who was very toxic or damaging to them? You may recall giving your friend advice to let that person go or stay away from them as that negativity was bad for them. Yet, we rarely are able to return ourselves that same level of insight and concern to identify toxic individuals in our lives. How many of us have that person who always criticizes or judges your actions or decisions? What about that person that downplays any of your accomplishments and always one ups you? Or the person who always plays the victim and fails to take responsibility for their actions? The list goes on and on with scenarios where negativity and toxicity  can be leaking its way into your life but yet we do not act upon it. 

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If you are skeptical about the laws of attraction, I ask you to think about the energy around you. If you are in a room where an argument just occurred, how likely would you be to feel happy go lucky after some elevated tension ensued? Not very likely would be my guess. It would be an uncomfortable situation for some time and it would take a significant amount of effort on everyone’s part to move forward and change the mood in the room. The same is true with your own personal energy. If you keep negativity in your life and in a state of constant conflict or disruption (either personal or other people’s) then it will take a significant amount of energy to break that pattern. Therefore it becomes more recognizable to us and we continue on this pattern which becomes the norm. However, when we release the negatives in our life, we allow time and space for more positive energy to enter. 

I have experienced this first hand. Growing up I saw a significant amount of conflict and unrest in my home. My mother was very cynical and negative (understandable due to her own past) my siblings were out to make out better for themselves and resented the life they had been thrust into . So needless to say, we did not have family dinners around the table and talk about our day. Family outings were more like watching a race and taking bets to see how long it would take my dad to create a dramatic scene and ruin the moment for everyone. This continued in and out of my life until 2011 when my mother passed away. It sounds terrible but although I became my mother’s caregiver for the last 17 years of her life and since I at 17 years old, it was not a job that I would care to take on again. As hard as I tried to provide her with anything she needed and wanted, she had lost any glimmer of positive energy due to all of trauma from being exiled to a foreign country, losing everything she had to her name, and having a cheating and verbally abusive husband. When she passed away, I dealt with a ton of negative emotions which had been buried deep in my subconscious which was creating some abundance blockers for me. This negativity was also creating unrest in my personal life and I saw that it was affecting me as a mother. I decided to go therapy and engaged in meditation therapy which was an amazing experience and helped me begin the healing process.

As a result of all of that work and releasing the negative feelings from my past, I began to see a turnaround in my life and was achieving some major accomplishments. I also made it a point to limit my contact and even cut off all contact with certain close family members and even some life long friends who seemed to feel worse as I did better in my life. I don’t need a cheerleader in my corner but I also don’t need a negative Nancy or Debbie downer to drag me down. Some of these individuals would make comments making me second guess my decisions in life such as going back to school to get a degree. “Don’t you think it’s selfish to focus on school when your baby needs her mother?” That’s what one “friend” told me. A family member told me that getting a degree would not be necessary to make money. Fair statement but made with negative intent. But as I look back on my life, I realized that each time I released a negative person in my life, I was blessed with abundance and life changes which dramatically impacted my living situation or my career.

So I leave you with this thought, just like you may read blogs about decluttering your home and creating a positive living space for yourself, the same is true about the relationships you carry on. The process will be hard and it may require you to have some honest conversations with some people who are close to you. However, you can start by establishing some boundaries so that you eliminate or significantly reduce the negativity in your life and welcome your deserved abundance.

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